The PracticaL Mentor Home Page

January 17, 2019


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A life and career coach can make life’s journey more rewarding and enjoyable.Have you ever thought that you would like someone who you could talk things over and just get some things off your chest without the fear of repercussions? How about discussing and idea or plan that you would like to explore without the fear of someone close to you stealing your idea or making fun of you?  Do you have relationship problems that you need help with?  No matter the issue I can help you solve your problems.


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How are you doing with your New Year resolutions? According to those who study such things, most of us are back to where we started by the end of February. I often think about the process we go through to either stick with a goal, modify it, or abandon it in favor of something else or going back to what we were doing before. It seems like a big tug of war in our minds between that part of our mind that sets the goal and the rest of us that likes what we already have. Perhaps two the most challenging goal are dieting and smoking. Our bodies are used to the feelings and satisfaction we get from eating and smoking,and our brains are used the pleasure we derive from eating and smoking. I quit smoking after smoking for 2o years, gained a lot of weight especially a pot belly. It was a real struggle to get myself off tobacco, and I still have the pot belly, although I did get rid of 20 lbs of the weight I gained. Why can’t I loose the pot belly?

I am currently on another quest to get rid of my pot belly. My wife does the shopping and cooking which makes it easier for me not to have to resist the foods I like and eat those which are supposed to be good for me. It has only been a couple of weeks and I sure do miss my sugar and carbohydrates. I am doing ok, with it. When we eat our I eat the carbs but skip the sweets. Although there is a lot of foods I like that I can it eat, I don’t get the satisfied feeling I get after a big plate of pasta, or a piece of apple pie and ice cream. Also there is no candy or cookies in the house. So I go to bed without that nice little snack that makes for sweet dreams.

While this is the easiest diet we tried, the commitment is already starting to wane. We don’t eat our often, so even though we eat some carbs when we eat out it is potatoes and bread. So far we have avoided the Italian which is a real weakness for me. But I find myself thinking more about food even though I am not really hungry. Wouldn’t a handful of M&Ms taste good right now? You bet it would. I read a lot of Kevin Hogan’s writings, and he studies the latest on psychology findings. He is of the opinion that we have only so much will power, and varies with physical and mental states of rest and nourishment. When our bodies are rested and full we supposedly have the most will power. As we get tired and hungry our will power starts to decline. I find it to be sort of valid, for me it depends on the importance of the goal as to how much will power I will use to resist caving in.
With smoking I thought I was going to die if I kept smoking, and once the doctors told me it was life and death the amount of will power seemed difficult but was there when I really needed it. After a few weeks it got easier, but now 30 years later, I still get the urge to smoke, and believe that if I had one cigarette I would be back to smoking a pack a day within the week. However my body and mind does not have the same unrelenting craving as the first few weeks. It took a lot to quit, but my incentive was more than the satisfaction I got from smoking.

No so with food. You have to eat something. It is just what, how much, and how often you eat that matters. A much tougher scenario. With smoking you can use an avoidance strategy that you cannot use with food. You can control what is available what you bring home to eat, but it seems like every where I go there are temping treats and often they are free. How about just a taste, or what can one piece of candy hurt. Well it sends a really bad message to that part of your brain where will power resides. Once you break the barrier, it seems impossible to close what immediately becomes a flood gate. So in reality avoidance is like crutch will power. If there is any way to get what you crave then it takes less will power to resist. If however you have a ready supply of the things you are trying to give up, it is much harder.

Also the longer you can hold out the less will power it takes to say no.

So if we are serious about our goal or resolution keep rested, eat enough not to feel hungry, and try to avoid situations where there is easy opportunity to cheat on your goal.

Wish me luck with pot belly and I wish you luck with your goal.



I am thankful for the invitation from Career Press to review Noah Fleming and Shawn Veltman’s book DEALING WITH DIFFICULT CUSTOMERS

Dealing With Difficult Customers is a book everyone can benefit from reading. Although directed toward businesses, the message of this book may be applied on a personal level. While reading Dealing With Difficult Customers, I thought not only how I could apply it to coaching businesses, but also how it could be easily adapted for in many personal coaching situations. It dawned on me that in many respects almost everyone we interact with is a customer of sorts.

Everyone has heard the horror stories of customers who were wronged or dissatisfied with dealing with companies. One of my personal favorites is dealing with my cable company. I more than fit the definition of a dissatisfied and difficult customer. I was on the phone every billing period for almost the entire year of my contract trying to straighten out billing errors. I was upset and disgruntled and seeking to ensure I was only charged the contract rates. There were two benefits to this process. One I spoke to probably 200 different customer service reps and supervisors, and I found out that almost every cable customer had the same problem. What was surprising to me is that most people with similar situations just paid what the cable company billed. To them it wasn’t worth the hassle to spend all day on the phone with only negative results, I mention this only because Dealing With Difficult Customers lit the light bulb of why cable companies treat their customers the way they do.

The other benefit I derived from my year long experience with customer service was the difference among company representatives. It was very interesting that while all the customer service reps and supervisors all gave similar responses, some were very likeable and professional while others were nasty and argumentative. I mention this only because it gave me a very good appreciation and understanding for the information presented in Dealing With Difficult Customers.

No matter your professional position or personal situation we all have to deal with difficult customers to some degree. The lessons and advice in Dealing With Difficult Customers may be adapted to any business or personal situation.

Noah Fleming and Shawn Veltman are accomplished customer relation consultants who Coach businesses on customer relations and develop tools to implement the procedures they develop. With over 15 years of working together they have become unique in the customer relation field for identifying the root customer relation problems a client has and developing a specific plan to address the problems.

Their analysis and training techniques are spot on and when employed get great results. I learned a lot about customers, and that not all customers are worth keeping. While it seems counter intuitive it is more profitable to fire some customers than work to retain them. The book explores difficult customers in depth, and explains that old slogan “The customer is always right” may not be applicable to many cases. In fact the customer is often wrong, and the authors explain the merits and methods of dealing with a difficult customer who made a mistake or is being difficult just to get their way.

A key point of the book is the importance of good customer relations. Much easier said than done, Dealing With Difficult Customers discusses the importance of developing great customer relations through data collection and analysis. Using the axiom “You can’t manage what you can’t measure” Noah and Shawn discuss and give examples of how meaningful customer relations data may be collected, analyzed, and use to implement customer relation relations policies and procedures. They even talk about the value of developing scripts and training employees how and when to use them. The one outstanding point the book develops is training frontline employees how to treat customers. They stress the golden rule of customer relations is to make each and every customer feel special.

This is a well-written and informative book full of insights and experiences that may be adapted to fit most customer relations scenarios. While focused on frontline customer service reps and management, I found all the concepts easily transfers to personal interactions.

Best of Luck

The PracticaL Mentor –


Author: Noah Fleming and Shawn Veltman

Publisher: CAREER PRESS INC, Wayne NJ

Pages: 238

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication

ISBN 9781632651174


Dealing With Difficult Customers by Noah Fleming and Shawn Vetlman

Fearless Growth by Amanda Setili

The Workplace Engagement Solutions by David Harder

The Power Of People Skills by Trevor Throness

Thriving In The GIG Economy by Marion McGovern

7 Principles Of Transformational Leadership By Hugh Blane

The Sales Leader’s Problem Solver by Suzanne M. Paling

101 Best Answers To The Toughest Interview Questions by Rob Fry

All Hands On Deck by Peter J. Boni

The Practical Negotiator by Steven P. Cohen

The Titeless Leader by Nan S. Russell

How To Work For An Idiot by John Hoover PhD

The Young Professionals Guide To Managing by Aaron McDaniel

The Quick and Easy Performance Appraisal Phrase Book by Patrick Alain

They Don’t Teach Corporate In College By Alexandra Levit

The Next Gen Leader by Robert C. McMillan

Challenge The Ordinary by Linda D. Henman PhD

The Leadership Campaign by Scott Miller and David Morey

The Elegant Pitch by Mike Figliuolo

Could you benefit by hiring a career coach?

Do you ever think of how much help it would be to have a coach to help you make those tough decisions? Most of us are risk adverse, and it really holds us back from being all we can be. A life coach can make the difference of staying in our small comfort zone or moving ahead.

How to Find a Mentor and Why You Need One _ A good career move.

Mentors are people who have expertise and experience, and can help you shape your career, and improve your performance and professional reputation. Whether a friend, volunteer, or professional career coach, a mentor can objectively advise you in all areas. Some of try to decouple our personal and professional lives, but in this high tech world it is almost impossible to separate them. A facebook friend uses the media to sell products, and for a social media. The problem is that on her social page she used foul language, and posts and reposts things which many prospective clients may find offensive. This hurts her business. Although friends have hinted she should tone down her social page, she ignores them. A mentor would be more direct and tell her that her social facebook page is hurting her enterprise page. If she does not listen, the mentor will reinforce his advice with examples, and guide her to be more professional.

A mentor is not your boss. You do not have to listen or take a mentor’s advice, but a good mentor will be able to guide you over time to the proper path. Some times are egos will prevent us from seeing the wisdom in a mentor’s advice. A good mentor knows how to placate the ego and reach through our natural defense to criticism barriers. A good mentor is able to talk about any topic or problem with offending or embarrassing the client.

We all need mentors. Life is too short for each of us to learn everything through our own experience. In many cases it takes a long time to learn some things through experience, mainly because we don’t realize that we are doing something detrimental to our careers. I worked with a guy who thought he was a comedian. He played practical jokes, teased people, and told inappropriate jokes. He thought he was the life of the party and everyone liked him. When asked to tone it down he only laughed and try to make a joke of it. In essence he was killing and chances he had for advancement. All his hard work was negated by his behavior. The sad part is that his behavior was part of his success strategy.

How to Find a Mentor and Why You Need One
By Lindsay Olson
June 19, 2012

One of the best ways to reinvigorate your work life, boost your job search, or help guide your career path is to work with a mentor. A mentor can help guide you through common problems and make recommendations on how to improve your job performance.
Talking to a mentor about your career can help you make better decisions about moving to a new job, taking a promotion or asking for a raise. Typically, you would work with someone with experience in your industry, as she would be best equipped to understand what it takes to succeed in your field. If you’re starting out in the accounting field, you might find a mentor who runs an accounting practice. Finding someone who has had a career path similar to yours can help give you the direction and advice on how you can succeed.
Mentoring programs differ one to the next. Some are very formal and meet every week or so. Others are more organic. Maybe you exchange emails and have lunch once every few months. You get out of a mentoring program what you put in. Make it worth both your time and that of your mentor’s.
How to Find a Mentor
Some companies have formal mentor programs, designed to help you achieve specific goals. If your company doesn’t have such a program, create your own. At networking events, look for seasoned professionals who take an interest in you. Search LinkedIn for qualified professionals with similar interests, group affiliations, and career paths.
Once you pinpoint someone, begin by building a relationship with them. After all, if you’re going to spend time with this person each week or month, you want to make sure it’s a good fit for both of you. Ask her to lunch or coffee so you can get to know her. And when you feel like the relationship is growing, ask for advice—this can help take the relationship to that next level.
It’s important that you give some thought beforehand to what you’re looking for in a mentor. Just as you’re looking for the right one, you need to sell yourself as a mentee. You’re asking someone to take time out of their busy schedule to expend brain energy on you, so prove that you’re worth it.
And remember that your mentor is doing you a favor. Always show appreciation for the time spent. If your mentor gives you job leads or makes a connection, make sure you follow up and let her know what came out of it.
Working with a mentor can help you develop professionally and forge new relationships that can move you on your way. Take your mentor’s advice, even if you find it difficult to swallow. After all, that is why you sought a mentor in the first place.



Certified NLP Practitioner –
Why do I need someone to help me with my career? The idea of hiring a career coach is often met with resistance. Your mind generates all kinds of excuses not to seek the help of a coach or mentor. What can they tell me about myself that I don’t already know?

A coach or mentor is not a shrink who is going to psychoanalyze your problems and blame your failings on a childhood trauma. While there are most likely physiological underpinnings to some of your perceptions, most of your career challenges are a product of the workplace. Learning to successfully navigate the workplace is difficult for most of us because we bring our social game to a very competitive sport.

What real preparation do have to cope with difficult bosses and coworkers? Most if not all of your experience is obtained from family and friends, and a controlled academic environment. There are some very good lessons to learned from this beguine environment, the rules are much different and do not translate to the rough and tumble workplace environment where your career and livelihood hang in the balance. A good coach or mentor has been through it and gained first hand experience in coping with all types of workplace challenges. Learning by trial and error is often a long lonely road where a mis-step can be career ending. A career coach can help you get where you want to go in your career.

Why Hire A Coach?
Ten Terrific Ways To A More Powerful Life

Bill Cole, MS, MA
Founder and CEO
William B. Cole Consultants
Silicon Valley, California

A tennis coach, golf coach, swim coach, personal coach, business coach, executive mentor, financial planner, personal trainer, sport psychology coach. What do all these coaches have in common? Why work with a coach? A coach won’t do the work for you, but here is how a coach can help launch you to the next level:

1. A coach can be a confidant. You can tell your coach things you wouldn’t tell others, because a coach is trained to understand and be non-judgmental.

2. A coach can help you see your blind spots. Everyone, even the coach, has personal areas that are out of view or awareness until someone points them out. A coach is perfectly poised to perform this critical function.

3. A coach can provide objective feedback. Other people may have agendas. Your coach has your best interests in mind in providing feedback and counsel to you.

4. A coach provides another set of eyes. Even the top performers in the world have coaches to help them see what they themselves can’t see.

5. A coach can keep you accountable. Your coach can help you take on more responsibility by having you report weekly on your accomplishments and initiatives.

6. A coach can be a sounding board. Your coach can be another set of ears as you talk about the things that are bothering you. As you hear yourself have a conversation new personal realizations emerge.

7. A coach can be another source of creative ideas. You can brainstorm and try out new ideas, behaviors and mental processes as your coach provides a safe place to experiment.

8. A coach can help you create your vision. Your coach can assist you in developing your plans for success based on your values, personal strengths, background and assets.

9. A coach can help celebrate your successes and be a source of strength when you fail. Your coach can be a supportive and nurturing source of energy.

10. A coach can help you process life. Life is a process and a good coach can assist you in reviewing and reframing what happens in your business, your sports and your life!


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Are you looking for a career coach?. Most of us have talents and skills equal or better than our peers, but for some reason they seem to be doing so much better in their careers. What do they have that you don’t? A mentor! A source of coaching to discover and develop talents and find and seize opportunities, avoid problems, and overcome challenges. Every successful person has someone helping them. Why not you? Put the PracticaL Mentor in your corner- career and life coach. E-mail Confidential Inquires to

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