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July 14, 2019

Can you imagine  how much easier it would be if you didn’t have to  face your personal or professional challenges alone?  There is no lonelier feeling than being without help when you need it most .  Good advice can give you the clarity of mind  to help you sort though those issues and come up with a satisfying solution.   E-mail me at

Feed the turtle.


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Did you ever have a boss you just couldn’t get along with? No matter what tact you tried it always ended up making the situation worse?  Most likely  it is not your fault!

Bosses are no different than all the average people you know, except they have power due to their position. Most use their power to get the job done, but there are always a few that use their position to feed their ego.

If you make a mistake or do something against the rules, you can expect your boss to point it out to you and work to correct what ever it is you are doing wrong. However when you are doing a good job and following company policy and the boss still picks on you, you have a problem.

Just like any group of people your work usually develops a culture all of its own. A pecking order of responsibility, an unofficial chain of command, and a hierarchy of social standing. In most cases the boss assumes he at the top of all of these.  In truth, these different rolls are filled by one or more of the staff members.  I had a situation once where the secretary ran the office.  Although the boss was in charge, if you wanted anything administrative or work related, the secretary was the go to person. Of course she was very good at letting the boss think he was in charge, but in fact she made most of the decisions and he rubber stamped them. The worse thing an employee could do was to challenge the secretary or belittle the boss by saying the secretary actually runs the show.  What their relationship was is the subject of another time. For now it is enough to know that the secretary was the power behind the boss.

Getting on the wrong side of the secretary was the worse thing an employee could do. Not only could she instantly create an administrative nightmare, like in correct paychecks, leave, sick days, appointments and time and attendance. She could also prime the boss to be over critical of your work, and take a disliking to you.  If this happened most employees would try to smooth things over with the boss, when in reality you had to fix through the secretary.

On the other hand there may be an over aggressive boss who likes to flex his administrative muscle by picking on employees. Some bosses get the idea that they own the employee and try to not only oversee their work product, but manage the employees personal life as well.  When this happens it seems there is no way to get our of the bosses crosshairs.  One remedy is to appear to acquiesce, that is agree with him and try to keep interactions to a minimum.  Make sure work product is error free, and that you adhere to the office rules and policy, until the heat is off.  Usually if you do not let the boss know he is getting to you, he will tire and pick on someone else.  Usually there are favorites because bullies like an easy target.

The workplace has evolved and many things which were not taken seriously are now on the radar. Harassment  of any type has a legal remedy, but you have to be able to prove it. So keep good records of your interactions with the boss. Keep a journal and record what happens with dates and times.  It is good to have witnesses, but be careful most colleagues will say they support you, but disappear when the chips are down. As talk with an employment attorney. There are attorney’s who specialize in labor relations.  Talk with one to get what you need to have to prove your case, then do it.

It is no fun to work in a hostile environment, so if you can it may be better to move on than to fight a bad boss. Especially in bigger companies, once you are labeled a trouble maker your reputation is shot, and raises and promotions will disappear.  That is not to say that you should not defend yourself, just do it in a way that does not alienate management.

Best of luck.







Dealing With Difficult Customers by Noah Fleming and Shawn Vetlman

Fearless Growth by Amanda Setili

The Workplace Engagement Solutions by David Harder

The Power Of People Skills by Trevor Throness

Thriving In The GIG Economy by Marion McGovern

7 Principles Of Transformational Leadership By Hugh Blane

The Sales Leader’s Problem Solver by Suzanne M. Paling

101 Best Answers To The Toughest Interview Questions by Rob Fry

All Hands On Deck by Peter J. Boni

The Practical Negotiator by Steven P. Cohen

The Titeless Leader by Nan S. Russell

How To Work For An Idiot by John Hoover PhD

The Young Professionals Guide To Managing by Aaron McDaniel

The Quick and Easy Performance Appraisal Phrase Book by Patrick Alain

They Don’t Teach Corporate In College By Alexandra Levit

The Next Gen Leader by Robert C. McMillan

Challenge The Ordinary by Linda D. Henman PhD

The Leadership Campaign by Scott Miller and David Morey

The Elegant Pitch by Mike Figliuolo

Could you benefit by hiring a career coach?

Do you ever think of how much help it would be to have a coach to help you make those tough decisions? Most of us are risk adverse, and it really holds us back from being all we can be. A life coach can make the difference of staying in our small comfort zone or moving ahead.

How to Find a Mentor and Why You Need One _ A good career move.

Mentors are people who have expertise and experience, and can help you shape your career, and improve your performance and professional reputation. Whether a friend, volunteer, or professional career coach, a mentor can objectively advise you in all areas. Some of try to decouple our personal and professional lives, but in this high tech world it is almost impossible to separate them. A facebook friend uses the media to sell products, and for a social media. The problem is that on her social page she used foul language, and posts and reposts things which many prospective clients may find offensive. This hurts her business. Although friends have hinted she should tone down her social page, she ignores them. A mentor would be more direct and tell her that her social facebook page is hurting her enterprise page. If she does not listen, the mentor will reinforce his advice with examples, and guide her to be more professional.

A mentor is not your boss. You do not have to listen or take a mentor’s advice, but a good mentor will be able to guide you over time to the proper path. Some times are egos will prevent us from seeing the wisdom in a mentor’s advice. A good mentor knows how to placate the ego and reach through our natural defense to criticism barriers. A good mentor is able to talk about any topic or problem with offending or embarrassing the client.

We all need mentors. Life is too short for each of us to learn everything through our own experience. In many cases it takes a long time to learn some things through experience, mainly because we don’t realize that we are doing something detrimental to our careers. I worked with a guy who thought he was a comedian. He played practical jokes, teased people, and told inappropriate jokes. He thought he was the life of the party and everyone liked him. When asked to tone it down he only laughed and try to make a joke of it. In essence he was killing and chances he had for advancement. All his hard work was negated by his behavior. The sad part is that his behavior was part of his success strategy.

How to Find a Mentor and Why You Need One
By Lindsay Olson
June 19, 2012

One of the best ways to reinvigorate your work life, boost your job search, or help guide your career path is to work with a mentor. A mentor can help guide you through common problems and make recommendations on how to improve your job performance.
Talking to a mentor about your career can help you make better decisions about moving to a new job, taking a promotion or asking for a raise. Typically, you would work with someone with experience in your industry, as she would be best equipped to understand what it takes to succeed in your field. If you’re starting out in the accounting field, you might find a mentor who runs an accounting practice. Finding someone who has had a career path similar to yours can help give you the direction and advice on how you can succeed.
Mentoring programs differ one to the next. Some are very formal and meet every week or so. Others are more organic. Maybe you exchange emails and have lunch once every few months. You get out of a mentoring program what you put in. Make it worth both your time and that of your mentor’s.
How to Find a Mentor
Some companies have formal mentor programs, designed to help you achieve specific goals. If your company doesn’t have such a program, create your own. At networking events, look for seasoned professionals who take an interest in you. Search LinkedIn for qualified professionals with similar interests, group affiliations, and career paths.
Once you pinpoint someone, begin by building a relationship with them. After all, if you’re going to spend time with this person each week or month, you want to make sure it’s a good fit for both of you. Ask her to lunch or coffee so you can get to know her. And when you feel like the relationship is growing, ask for advice—this can help take the relationship to that next level.
It’s important that you give some thought beforehand to what you’re looking for in a mentor. Just as you’re looking for the right one, you need to sell yourself as a mentee. You’re asking someone to take time out of their busy schedule to expend brain energy on you, so prove that you’re worth it.
And remember that your mentor is doing you a favor. Always show appreciation for the time spent. If your mentor gives you job leads or makes a connection, make sure you follow up and let her know what came out of it.
Working with a mentor can help you develop professionally and forge new relationships that can move you on your way. Take your mentor’s advice, even if you find it difficult to swallow. After all, that is why you sought a mentor in the first place.



Certified NLP Practitioner –
Why do I need someone to help me with my career? The idea of hiring a career coach is often met with resistance. Your mind generates all kinds of excuses not to seek the help of a coach or mentor. What can they tell me about myself that I don’t already know?

A coach or mentor is not a shrink who is going to psychoanalyze your problems and blame your failings on a childhood trauma. While there are most likely physiological underpinnings to some of your perceptions, most of your career challenges are a product of the workplace. Learning to successfully navigate the workplace is difficult for most of us because we bring our social game to a very competitive sport.

What real preparation do have to cope with difficult bosses and coworkers? Most if not all of your experience is obtained from family and friends, and a controlled academic environment. There are some very good lessons to learned from this beguine environment, the rules are much different and do not translate to the rough and tumble workplace environment where your career and livelihood hang in the balance. A good coach or mentor has been through it and gained first hand experience in coping with all types of workplace challenges. Learning by trial and error is often a long lonely road where a mis-step can be career ending. A career coach can help you get where you want to go in your career.

Why Hire A Coach?
Ten Terrific Ways To A More Powerful Life

Bill Cole, MS, MA
Founder and CEO
William B. Cole Consultants
Silicon Valley, California

A tennis coach, golf coach, swim coach, personal coach, business coach, executive mentor, financial planner, personal trainer, sport psychology coach. What do all these coaches have in common? Why work with a coach? A coach won’t do the work for you, but here is how a coach can help launch you to the next level:

1. A coach can be a confidant. You can tell your coach things you wouldn’t tell others, because a coach is trained to understand and be non-judgmental.

2. A coach can help you see your blind spots. Everyone, even the coach, has personal areas that are out of view or awareness until someone points them out. A coach is perfectly poised to perform this critical function.

3. A coach can provide objective feedback. Other people may have agendas. Your coach has your best interests in mind in providing feedback and counsel to you.

4. A coach provides another set of eyes. Even the top performers in the world have coaches to help them see what they themselves can’t see.

5. A coach can keep you accountable. Your coach can help you take on more responsibility by having you report weekly on your accomplishments and initiatives.

6. A coach can be a sounding board. Your coach can be another set of ears as you talk about the things that are bothering you. As you hear yourself have a conversation new personal realizations emerge.

7. A coach can be another source of creative ideas. You can brainstorm and try out new ideas, behaviors and mental processes as your coach provides a safe place to experiment.

8. A coach can help you create your vision. Your coach can assist you in developing your plans for success based on your values, personal strengths, background and assets.

9. A coach can help celebrate your successes and be a source of strength when you fail. Your coach can be a supportive and nurturing source of energy.

10. A coach can help you process life. Life is a process and a good coach can assist you in reviewing and reframing what happens in your business, your sports and your life!


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Are you looking for a career coach?. Most of us have talents and skills equal or better than our peers, but for some reason they seem to be doing so much better in their careers. What do they have that you don’t? A mentor! A source of coaching to discover and develop talents and find and seize opportunities, avoid problems, and overcome challenges. Every successful person has someone helping them. Why not you? Put the PracticaL Mentor in your corner- career and life coach. E-mail Confidential Inquires to

The PracticaL Mentor Forum Page: Most popular “Traits of successful people”- Mission Statement : The primary mission of the PracticaL Mentor is to address career strategies, issues, challenges and over come obstacles to achieve career goals. Recognizing we are each unique with individual personalities and values enabling us to perceive similar situations differently, there is a need to develop ideas, strategies and action plans that fit individual circumstances and personalities. By providing a forum for open discussion to develop analysis techniques and encourage sharing of career strategies, ideas, methods and tactics, the PracticaL Mentor will facilitate leveraging the collective contribution of each for the benefit of all.

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Count Started Nov 1, 2017

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